Extract from Volo’s Guide to Hell.
“So you see it was like this. I got introduced to the nice people in Hell purely on the basis that I was engaged a little business transaction.
The deal, notwithstanding the inevitable smallprint, is very straight forward. I was simply to report on the doings of Hell and ensure that it wasn't misrepresented in any promotional material that would be err…. subsequently issued. A fine arrangement to be sure, until I realised that… well… allow me to keep my own counsel on that, after all, as one quickly learns, to renege on a contract is to suffer eternal damnation in… err… Hell. It follows that breaking a contract whilst in Hell seems to make it rather too easy for the local denizens.
And therein Dear Reader is the problem. Because one should never enter into contract with a/the devil in order to establish ones priorities, those, I assure you from experience, you need to have clearly in mind or suffer the consequences after the fact.
With that in mind that I offer you what advice I may in respect of the persons who may find themselves in Hell.
Clearly most numerous, the main body, (or should I say spirit!), are the souls of the damned. Poor mortals whose existence has finished and whose deeds condemn them to the their fate. Doubtless there are, among them, those who are righteous and do not deserve their fate, but they are in the minority, for most souls here are self condemned to eternal damnation.
But what of those righteous few? Tis clearly a case that these should not destined for eternal suffering, but I remind you Dear Reader, that whilst a soul can condemn itself, so too can a soul be condemned (sold) by others. And he purer the soul, the greater the value. Be ye warned!
But onto those who choose to enter this fiendish realm of their own, or some others accord, not unlike myself!
The first group, we shall call them those who Seek. These ‘Seekers’ are, if nothing else, a clearly dedicated and determined group of people driven to find answers, objects or sometimes souls. Oft times to seek things that may or may not actually exist. Hell is a fine place to be a Seeker. The challenges for them are commensurate with the value of that which they seek, the answers beguile the Seekers mind and force yet more questions and seeking. These poor unfortunates are left to casually wander the planes in search of the next clue, the next offering, the next morsel to satisfy their cravings, and never realise that they bring their own suffering with them. An eternity of despair for that thing never found, an eternity of misery knowing the answer is just one more step away. I would say more of these kindred souls, I too sought answers but I am under contract to reveal only so much…
The second group, those who deceive. They seek to enter the realm in the belief that their petty confidence tricks and schemes can outwit those whose eternal existence has seen every plan, pursued every ruse, and denied every chance gambit. Be warned deceivers, you will be offered the most favourable of terms, the easiest of choices, and the simplest of tasks as you pursue your goals, but the consequences are always writ large. Large enough that most times you cannot see, and the devils claim your soul despite your games. But just perhaps. Play the right game, with the right devil, at the right time, and just maybe your hearts desire is realised.
The third group, the non believers. Those who choose not to engage with Hell or believe it has no power over them, find it a place beset with dichotomy. All things will be offered you, and all denied. Your armour of unbelief will be tested, endlessly tested. The stakes changing until at last you take something utterly inconsequential, and realise that the chain is forged with but a small link, and the next is easier to make, and the next, until at last your unbelief is sundered without your even realising and the chains have bound your soul. Think you that those of ‘faith’ are protected, and think again. There is no sweeter thing than to those in this place than to pervert, suborn or otherwise poison they whose faith grants them protection from the torments of hell. I distance between unbelief and absolute faith is but a small step. I warn you know, your faith or unbelief must be given up voluntarily, so you think yourselves safe. Remember, they have eternity, and each link is a but a simple one.
The last group are the righteous. These worthies seek to punish Hell for its existence, they seek to bludgeon and batter their way through to salvation, they may be pure of heart, or sublimely evil, but all are convinced that their power allows them the right to influence that which is Hell. They will fight - endless battles, spill - oceans of blood, revel - in glorious victory, and witness the heroic loss of family, friends, lovers, and comrades, each in more grewsome ways than the last. Each loss will sap that little bit more of the righteous anger, and leach a small amount of fighting spirit, or siphon some of the titanic will of the righteous ones. Until at last, the righteous is no more, and only the joy is in victory, victory at all cost, and those costs have been claimed, and the only thing left is the righteous soul endlessly fighting an eternal blood war.
Have I sold you on a trip to hell? No? Well be sure that your actions do not lead here. Inevitably though, and numbers do not lie, many of us will spend our eternal lives in this place. My advice, such as it is, is true and honest, I was held to that by my contract. But as HE said, that a person knows the truth is not material, that they believe it is irrelevant. Each and every soul in hell assumed that the rules did not apply to them and they were wrong.
As it is said “Abandon all hope all ye who enter”.
Volothamp Geddarm 1362
