TOPIC: Anglo Saxon Chronicle

We left the Island the next morning. Septimus was in one of his strange moods, he kept blathering on about all the time we wasted and how we should head North, the direction we should have taken if we had been smarter. If I didn't know better, I would have said he had been told off, but as we are the only people here that is impossible.

All day Septimus has been going on about Richmond, and how all our questions will be answered when we get there. The poor fella, I'll have to give him an early supper and put him to bed early, it's all this fresh air and excitement, it does him no good. It's like Xmas all over again, poor Septimus......................

..............he was so excited to get a present from Santa Clause.

We avoided several skirmishes with the Walking Dead™ and approached the outskirts of Richmond.

Where we promptly stopped set up camp and waited for the morning, see dear reader we do learn.

In the morning we set off for Richmond. This place is huge, and Wolfgar's eyes were wide with amazement, the rest of us have seen bigger and in its current state better cities.

Just outside the city we found a Bureau of Information, where we picked up a handy map. There is absolutely no point being a thief in this group! Septimus made me leave the two copper pieces as the suggested selling price printed on the back suggested.


The buildings were ram shackled with neglect. Wolfgar noticed that even the birds avoided the city, the whole place is totally devoid of life. Tanith jutted his chin and struck a pose, a few moments later he said "There is a strong sense of evil, and it seems to be coming from the Mott!"

Madolf enquired "The Mott?"
Tanith replied "Yes the Mott, the big Mott." Much sniggering can be heard from the rest of us and Tanith looks round confused.

"Does it have a big bush?" asked Wolfgar,

"I have never visited this Mott before, but it possibly does have a bush, maybe even several bushes on this Mott, it could be a big bushy Mott!!". This is too much for us and gales of laughter erupt.

Tanith looks even more confused, even after Septimus explained it, after Wolfgar explained it to Septimus.

I am unsure why but whenever Tanith supposedly “tries to sense evil” he has to put his hands on his hips, thrust his chest forward jut out his chin and hold that pose for a few seconds. The arms are an optional variance as we have witnessed in what we affectionately call the point, the thinker and the sleuth. The sleuth involves picking up dirt and examining by sight and smell.

We checked out a Church, Tanith posed,

We checked out the Cathedral, Tanith posed.
Taints says "The consecration has been removed from these sites, by the emanation of evil"

We moved into the castle, "The city is so quiet and eerie, the lack of life is disturbing. We must now be standing out like a beacon", yes thank you for pointing that out Septimus.

Another Bureau of Information, another two copper pieces, really what is the point!!

Armed with a map of the castle we enter into the guards chambers, we find nothing.
Tanith poses.

We enter the Captain of the guard's room, we find nothing.
Tanith poses.

We find the torture chamber, and creatures that died a long time ago and risen from the dead, are trapped behind bars, Madolf and Wolfgar make light work of it.
Tanith poses, and declares this room quite evil.

We enter the kitchens, we find nothing.
Tanith poses.

We find the remnants of what was once a well stocked cellar, which is full of excellent wine and food that has gone off, a very long time ago. We exit a very bare looking cellar, containing rotting food.
Tanith poses.

The Kitchen is a light airy room, with stone walls and two huge chimneys.
Tanith poses and declares it a place of Evil, we ask Madolf if has ever made his badger surprise here.

And so starts the many meanderings of our group, we split into three groups; Madolf and Wolfgar seem obsessed with the time and keep popping out to check on the sun. Tanith, heads down to the cellar to make sure they didn't miss anything.

I decide to shame myself by going upstairs checking for traps and picking locks, with Septimus looking over my shoulder. We find a lovely large room, which belonged to the Duke and some weapons on the wall, a particularly fine looking Morning Star catches my eye and I take it from the wall.

Under Septimus's watchful gaze I leave a note saying I am merely borrowing it for several years.

Septimus gets a little jumpy and whispers he thinks someone is watching us, I wouldn't know as I know someone is constantly watching me!!

The others join us in the room. Madolf and Wolfgar are imperious that we should move to a safer location and the sun is setting.

We haven't been here very long but Wolfgar and Madolf are agitated so we set off to a more defensible position in the Captain of the guards chambers. We set watches and wait for the long night to pass.


We heard a scream so terrifying that Septimus was trying to flee through a window only 6 inches across, I took up some cleaning duties under the bed to pass the time.

The others are trying to calm Septimus, but are having very little success.

They keep asking me if I am okay, do they not realise that this sort of cleaning needs to be done once a month and from what I can tell this has not been.
"Look, I am okay, just cleaning. I’ll be out if you need me, but this infernal dirt needs to be removed"


Madolf was about to say something derogatory, when the door flew open. The temperature in the room dropped by about 20 degrees, and from my vantage point I saw feet floating off the floor. Luckily I had just finished my cleaning, I believe my comrades are in need of me, so I roll from under the bed.

This creature just would not die, even after Taniths’ winning smile. It attacked and struck Tanith and Wolfgar, neither of them looked well afterwards, we threw everything we had at it, and eventually it petered out into thin air.

We sat around in the chambers with my hooded lantern, then we used Madolf's lantern, with both lanterns out of oil we used torches.

When the last life of the torch flickered out, we heard the sound of armour outside the door at the bottom of the stairs.

I pointed out it was a good job we wedged a chair under the handle, then we heard the splintering of wood,
I still had faith in the chair.
Then we heard the sound of wood breaking against a wall.
I lost faith in the chair.
The sound of footsteps echoed off the stairway. Septimus and I held a rope in front of the door to our room, hoping to trip whatever it is over, the door flew open and the first skeleton clad in armour stepped in tripping on the rope, but it did not fall prone, but in a way of compensation it's foot fell off.

We made hard work of these two skeletons.

We have shut and secured the door, Madolf is looking out the window looking for the rising of the sun, when he sees a light, it seems to be a fire off in the distance, when morning does arrive we are going to check this out.

We waited, but the passage of time seems to be moving so slowly outside compared to inside the castle. A strange transcendent thought occurred to me that space and time are one and the same thing, not two separate things but one entity woven together like a fabric , and furthermore this fabric of space time is affected by gravity which is created by mass...............

.............................Therefore the closer to the ground I am the slower time goes and the further out in space the quicker time moves, and because we are close to the castle and all this mass and the sun is out in space this distortion is being magnified by something.

As if reading my mind and snapping me out of my pondering a disembodied voice booms out.

"You are in my castle and have not come to pay hummus to me!"

"Humus what is Hummus" I ask

"Hummus is a Levantine food dip or spread made from cooked, mashed chickpeas blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and garlic” says Madolf and we all turn and look at him.

The voice booms "I said homage, pay homage to me, why would I say pay hummus to me, that sentence doesn't even make sense, pay hummus to me indeed, and besides what would I do with the hummus"

"Well it would make a nice dip with some unleavened bread, for your guests" we are now open mouthed at Madolf, where was this guy when he came up with Badger Surprise!!!

"Look, I said HOMAGE, not Hummus, or fromage, I don't want you to carry a boat over land or anything else, all you have to do is pay HOMAGE. To me."

"Who got this guy all in a twist"

"I'm hungry now all this talk of food"

"Yeah, I could do with some tiffin"

"yeah a quick bite about now would be nice"

"For the love of any deity's son, this is my castle and you have to pay HOMAGE to me, NOW!!"

"C'mon we better go, before he gets all angry and says something he'll regret later"

We packed our things and left the room, downstairs the door is in splinters and the chair is smashed into a million pieces. Exiting the barracks we glimpse the night sky and notice time has hardly passed. Madolf suggests checking out the hotspots and trying to remove the evil, we agree that this is a good idea. This new knowledgeable and helpful Madolf has us slightly worried that he has been possessed.

Entering the kitchen the coolness of the air immediately grabs our attention, a swirling mist appears quickly coalescing into a banshee similar to the one we saw in the captain's quarters. Before it can act I leap in and strike out at it, then the foul creature turns and screams at us, I instantly regret the decision to attack this creature and feel my spine melt. In the next second Madolf smashes the creature as hard as he can which evaporates as quickly as it arrived, a big grin breaks out all over his beard. Emboldened by this quick victory we wonder where to go.

Out onto the courtyard and moving back toward the main part of the castle, Madolf and Tanith shoulder barge a door straight into the path of another banshee, she lets out a terrifying scream and Madolf is not waiting around to see anymore, he pushes past Tanith, past Septimus Wolfgar and I. I never knew little dwarven legs could move that fast, it was like watching river dance but only running. I moved up to help Tanith but it seemed like a bad idea, Septimus sidled up beside me, and we quickly discussed it and both agreed that Tanith is a stout fellow and probably didn’t need our help, in fact in his current mood he would probably prefer to be left alone. Wolfgar decided we were wrong, the silly boy. We left to find Madolf and ensure he was okay. We found him trying to lift the bar on the gate, which was held steadfast. Tanith and Wolfgar appeared,

"See I told you he had this one, Kyrias"

"You were right Septimus, plus it helps build character"

"Where now?"

"Septimus pass the map"

"What map"

"The map you made me buy outside the castle"

"That map"

"Yes that map!"

"I haven't got it"

"Where is it?"

"I gave it you, you must have lost it you cretin" says an incredulous Spetimus.

"Everyone, Everyone, gather round, not you” and waves me away. “Kyrias has lost the map!! Honestly I don't know why I employ him"

I'm a free man and I haven't seen wages from you in years!"

"That's the kind of talk I would expect. Anyway Kyrias has lost the map, luckily!" Septimus's arms flap round and a map appears in thin air

"I can make one from my eidetic memory , ta daaaaaa!!!!" Septimus looks round for his applause.

When none appears he continues "Right then this way, this way come along Kyrias, right this door should be."

"A broom cupboard, Septimus?"

"ERrrrrrr yes that is correct, now this door opens on to the great hall" with a flourish Septimus opens the door, and the team pass thorough into the great hall, I come past him,

"lucky guess Septimus"

The benches and tables are laid out for a banquet and at the table towards the top are sat six figures.

“Luck has nothing to do with it Kyrias” Septimus closes the door behind him and notices the figures for the first time, and also notices the handle on this side of the door doesn’t work.

The figures stand up and gently put down the knapkins, this looks like a rumble in anybody’s book they turn around, I am thinking finally something to backstab but alas they turn out to be more skeletons.

I quickly jump over the table and got in behind them, smashing one in the back of the head, they lash out to the nearest target to them, but seem to have a penchant for Tanith. Who flashes them all a winning smile they do not seem to like, I look for Septimus and he is hanging back out of harm’s way. Madolf and Wolfgar are in a frenzy scoring massive blows on the creatures and shortly the day is ours.

We move through into a room off the back of the hall, into a private chapel. By the font lies a contorted figure of a priest, which Madolf wastes no time in robbing. I carefully go through the rest of the room and manage to turn up a couple of vials of a green liquid. Wolfgar takes one and sips it,

“That’s pretty palatable that is, mmm lovely. Do you think this is hummus?”
“Nope, says Madolf, hummus is a kind of off white colour, what you have there is green, if it is hummus it has gone off a very long time ago.”

Madolf finds a staircase at the back of the cloister, which we ascend. A thick door at the top bars our way, I step to the front and ask they turn around lest they share in my shame. This door opens out onto a balcony above the great hall and there is another door on the other side. We go through into a large chamber with pictures of the Duke and his family adorning the walls. A mist appears and we steel ourselves in readiness for it this time. A terrible scream ushers forth and we are not disappointed with the result, we are even slightly cheered when Septimus decided he needed to go back downstairs and check under the cloister. This banshee looked a lot like the picture of the Dukes’ wife.

“Well hello there my..” says Madolf, he really will hit on anything.
She attacked me, and wished she hadn’t as I finally struck one of these creatures. I mean, I struck yet another mighty blow on one of these foul devil women.

We collected Septimus and searched the room. We found the door into the main chamber, upon a throne sat the Duke.
“Send forth your Champion”

“I thought we had to pay homage”

“Send forth your Champion”

“You sure there is no Hummus, it sounded quite nice”

“Send forth your Champion”

“Your up Madolf”

“Eh”

“We are sending forth our Champion”

“Go on, go, no you, no you, you,no, no, you go, hang on”

“Send forth your Champion”

“Paper wraps Rock”

“Send forth your Champion”

“Hold your horses, no Rock blunts scissors”

“You infuriating people send forth your champion”

“Give us a sec, scissors cut paper, sorry Madolf”

“You have decided, send forth your Champion”

“The game was fair, you lost, you’re up big man”

“No need”

“You’re up oh large for a Dwarf. Better?”

“Just as long as there is no racism, that’s all”

“Is your Champion ready now? Would you like to stop for a cup of tea, maybe a nice scone. Would you like a rest?”

“You got any of that Hummus?”

“My arse!!”

Madolf steps forward cracking the muscles in his neck, and swinging his arms limbering up.

“Good Luck”

“Who, Me?”

“Why do you need luck? You are the size of a house, undead and posses who knows what powers, and he has a sword, honestly”

“Oh”

Madolf and the Duke square up, before anyone else can react, I slip in round the back and stab him in the back. To be honest it went better in my mind than the actual result which just bounced off his armor. Then everyone piled in from my vantage point at the back I saw very little, At one point a saw Tanith retreat from the fight, appear to pray and then unleash a wave of energy, but mostly it was like flies trying to bring down a cow. Then Madolf got angry, and hit the duke with everything he had, which I must admit made him take a step back and the fight seemed to centre on the Duke and Madolf with everyone else doing very little. Then all of a sudden the creature we were fighting exploded then stopped and imploded on itself disappearing from this realm.


We cheered and high fived, and went to low five Madolf. He looked terrible, emaciated, beaten and upset. Tanith tried to patch him up as best as he could but in the end, he seems to be somehow smaller than he was before.

We made a hasty retreat from the castle under the cover of this very long night. The emanation of evil seemed diminished in comparison to before or so Tanith tells me. It still seems eerie and far too quiet for my liking, but we were not savaged by anything else.


Making good our escape we have decided to head towards the signal fire. The mood has lightened today, even Madolf managed a smile. Although the scenery leaves much to be desired, Tanith is checking for evil so often now he is walking round like Louis Spence, strutting with his hands on his hips. The fields are barren, little grows and there is no wildlife to speak of. We are so hungry our provisions ran out yesterday, and the little food we managed to forage from the castle hardly made a dent on our hunger. However should we meet someone with a three course dinner I guarantee we will have the right wine to accompany it.

Walking and hungry, how far is this beacon!!!

Rumble, not a fight, nor a roll of thunder it was Septimus’s stomach, he has discovered if he moves it in certain directions he can make it sound like words, he is up to “Lord Flash Hart” at the moment.

We are HUNGRY, we have spied the beacon and it seems to be another half days walk away. Fear of being attacked has overruled our stomachs and we are camping the night (Tanith has been camping all day! Ba da Boom). We have arrived too many times in the afternoon for the night to go pear shaped as we are commonly assaulted by various undead.

We had a wish breakfast, better than yesterdays as Wolfgar said “I’m so hungry I could even eat badger surprise” this brought the memories flooding back and we all felt a little fuller for having the good fortune not to have the badger surprise around.

At first light we moved towards the village, it was deserted, yet another lifeless place. The buildings are unkempt except the main structures which appear to have had some repair work done on them.

Wolfgar’s nose came into its own when he smelt food, heading in that direction we sensed we were being watched, a prickling on the back of the neck if you like. The smell turned out to be coming from the tavern, which had a fire and a big bowl of brown cooking on it. We are so hungry, Wolfgar drew a big plateful, sniffed it declared it not poisonous, he ate it like a ravenous beast and we all watched and waited. Mainly were hoping he would survive, but in truth we were waiting for something to happen. It didn’t, I went for a bowl but Septimus stopped me

“Listen Kyrias, it may take a while for the effects to appear, leave it a few hours and see if he is still alright” I figured another few hours wouldn’t kill me, and hopefully wouldn’t kill Wolfgar either.

We went back out into the town and again we had that feeling of being watched, Septimus said he had made me invisible, but with this lot as allies I couldn’t be sure, they may be waiting to have some fun at my expense. You can imagine it

“Look there goes the fellow now”

“You told him he was invisible Septimus and he fell for it?”

“Yes the proverbial hook line and soon to be sinker”

“Here he goes, O H M Y who would of thought he would do that”

“I never knew he could prance like that”

I’m not sure showing your arse to a group of Celts is a good idea”

“Look they are ignoring him”

“I think more out of pity than anything else”

“Now that definitely isn’t a good idea”

“Unless your invisible, then it would be a hoot”

“Which he isn’t

So staying in the shadow and moving quietly I staked out the pot, perhaps not my finest idea given my current hunger level. The others shambled off making enough noise to wake the dead, now I am more worried about being on my own and I don’t like it.

A short while later I heard footsteps outside as if debating to enter the inn or not, then the footsteps moved off. I may not get another chance, hoping I was invisible I exited the building and saw a humanoid, totally emaciated and looks more skin and bone than anything else moving quietly into a hovel. I was wondering what happened to the party when I heard a calamitous commotion coming from the church. Something heavy moving, the sound of stone grinding on stone (obviously opening a crypt) and then a massive bang as something heavy hit the floor, and wait, yup there it is the sound of stone breaking. Then

“There’s nuffin in it”

“I never said there would be” that was Tanith shouting as loud as Madolf.

“That was a waste of time”

“Might not have been though eh!!, then what would you have said my light fingered friend”

“What you sayin’”

“I’m not saying anything, I am implying”

“Oh, well that’s alright then, if you say you are lying like an imp” I can only imagine the look of exasperation on Tanith’s face.

My mark set off for the orchard at break neck speed, after all the noise and I was helpless to follow as I didn’t know if I was invisible or not. I moved out to the road and looked in their direction, they came out the church bickering, and I had to whistle to get their attention. I told them of what I had seen, we came up with a plan.

“It’s not a good plan”

“but we are agreement it is a plan?”

“Yes, but not a good one”

“Any other ideas” Silence “Right we are then”


Wolfgar and I will sneak down the sides of the orchard then come through the orchard on the way back making some noise hopefully flushing the creature out and Tanith will pull the rope to set off the trap to capture them.

We set off, my side was full of brittle twigs, creaking branches, cow bells, bear traps, man traps, dry leaves, squeaky shoes and screaming banshee. I thought I moved silently through it all. I met up with Wolfgar

“Could you not have made more noise”

“Who me?”

“Who else”

“Mate that was so stealthy, I could have took your …….... where did you get that?”

Munch, munch “Get what” with a projection of bread crumbs from his mouth,

“That” I said pointing at what appeared to be a cheese cob,

“Found it, I foraged for it”

“What you foraged for a cheese cob tree, I’m starvin’ and you ……. supposedly foraged a cheese cob”

“uh, hum” munch, munch “That’s better”

“Anymore?”

“Nope last one”

Needless to say our quarry had gone, we walked out of the orchard towards the others, when suddenly my world turned upside down and I was lifted in a net.
“Tanith!!!”

“Opps sorry”

Wolfgar let me out the trap.

“Perhaps we should go and check out the building containing the beacon”

“Nothing else for it, I suppose”

“We have come all this way”

“Be rude not too”

“Did we check out the building over there?”

“Yes”

“And that one over there”

“Done, done and done”

“All done then, suppose we will have to”

We entered through the well cared for and maintained gates into a swept courtyard, the beacon glowing on top of the building.

“Hellooooooooo” hollered Madolf

“Yoooooh hooo”

“That’s not helping Tanith”

A door opened, and four Monks stepped out.

“Welcome, Welcome”

We were a little taken back by this, no one trying to shoot, stab, poison or bite us.

“We followed the beacon”

“That’s what it’s for, to attract people” it may have been my imagination but I am sure he put emphasis on the word people.”So they know there is a safe haven in this wilderness of evil”

We went through our story and them theirs. It happened over seven years ago, just the same as it started in Oakthorpe. We asked why they never left, between the zombies and the skeletons it was not safe and when those attacks stopped the world all seemed the same so why move from a safe place and put themselves in danger. A good point well made. We asked about the humanoid we had seen, they said it was a villager there are about 40 of them in total.

“They are hiding from us and we might be able to help, can you help us to meet them?” Asked Septimus, I looked at him incredulously, Wolfgar looked at him incredulously, Madolf looked at him incredulously, even Tanith looked at him incredulously.

“Excuse us a moment” We shuffled about 10 feet away “Right, I think we can trust them” Continued Septimus, he held his hand up to silence us. “Look let’s look at the facts, they haven’t tried to kill us, this is a break from the norm, I think we give them a chance. I am so confident I am right that you three check out the beacon and Kyrias and I shall meet the villagers” Once again his hand goes up to silence us “I will not be dissuaded, I may not do much in this group but I do make the decisions and this one is final”

Still to this day I do not know why we followed such a stupid idea……...

“And this is Ploppy”

“And you do?”

“I am a sanitation engineer sir!”

“A What?” One of the Monks whispers in Septimus’s ear “Ah, and he’s called Ploppy. And who are you, it is madam isn’t it?”

“Ploppy Sir?”

“Oh and you are married to..”

“No, many people think that but it’s pure coincidence. We did laugh when first we found out Good morning mistress Ploppy he’d say, and I’d say good morning ...”

“Oh how the long winter nights must fly by”

We finally arrive at the inn.
“Oh, it looks cooked, care for a bowl?” Septimus gives a nod, so I follow suit, it tasted like it looked Brown. If it was a race between Brown and Badger Surprise, it would be a tough call, however and this is my personal opinion, that Badger Surprise would wait at the finish line and when the Brown arrived smash it with a bat and beat it until the Brown remained on the floor twitching.


A few moments later my stomach felt as if on fire and I broke out into a cold sweat, my head began to feel fuzzy. I looked at Septimus and he looked no better than I, still a better reaction than the Badger Surprise. Then they attacked us, oh how we should have seen this coming. I smashed one, I don’t know where as I couldn’t see properly, or even guess as to how hard I hit them. They lashed slashed and took bites out of me, I was now feeling something close to eating Badger Surprise. Septimus said or did something, all I remember is lights going off and stopping the assault, then him shouting the exit is blocked. Well this building is made of wattle and daub, so I turned to make a hole in the wall, but I felt too weak. Septimus came beside and smashed his way through then we were off into the late afternoon being chased by the townsfolk. We managed to give them the slip and made our way to the windmill, which we decided was the most defensible position in the town and hoped the others fared better than us.


“Well Kyrias, this is another fine situation we find ourselves in”

“It may get worse yet, Septimus”

“How so?”

“I hit one of them and I hit them good, just like the undead it kept coming, I fear they may be part Walking Dead™, part human and if that is the case they may be able to smell us like they did before”

“I wouldn’t worry about them tracking our scent Kyrias, I feel that bowl of Brown has dulled your senses, we too have some…….... Some, brown on our side, I think its overpowering stench will mask our scent!!”

“You’re a good friend Septimus”

“It was more accident than out of friendship Kyrias, and when we get out of this I’ll need a new Toga”


We waited quietly, nothing entered the mill, and then we heard the sound of battle outside. About 100 yards away Madolf, Tanith and Wolfgar were fighting their way down the street, I was too weak to go and aid them and Septimus looked in bad shape, and I couldn’t leave him. I strung my bow and let a few arrows fly, I don’t know if I hit anything or not, but three trained warriors fit and strong quickly dispatched the horde. They found us in the mill, and with Tanith’s administrations were soon on the road to recovery, unlike Septimus’s Toga which was beyond washing.


With nothing in our bellies we carried on north, the sky drew darker and darker, we stood on the brow of a hill looking at a rift in the sky, armies of Walking Dead™ waiting to burst through and in the middle stood the Titan.


To be continued

Season 2 lives again, I cant believe the Earl of Northumbria a CR5 wraith will forever be linked with a middle eastern dip.